Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
