Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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