Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
