and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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