She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Drunk is a universal language darling
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
