I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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