There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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