tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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