Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
