We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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