I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
And then he peed in my hair
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