If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
