He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
