I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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