well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Found the puke drawer
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
