Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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