just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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