well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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