Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
