I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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