This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
