Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she looked like the before picture.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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