HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
