The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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