So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
