Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
