Dual....:-)
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
