Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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