Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
