seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
