Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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