We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
