Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize