We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
