Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
