hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
