we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
