im drinking this country out of the recession.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
