her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
