Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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