this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
