i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
