Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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