Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
