Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
