My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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