need another drink. this is the easiest way
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
