so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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