Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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