Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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