that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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