I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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