All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
