Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
