wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
