My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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