Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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