tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
