dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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