hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
