If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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